Are you like me and have a hard time asking for help? You don’t want to burden your friends so you tell them you’re okay when you’re actually falling down a hole so deep you fear bumping into Alice?

I can’t think of a more appropriate time than during separation and divorce that we require help from family and friends. All at once we’re single parenting, dealing with lawyers, moving, starting a new career or educational program. Yet we try to manage it alone. We think if we can’t manage it all alone, we must be weak. There must be something wrong with us if we need help.

There isn’t a whole lot of information out there regarding special needs spouses, and/or disabled spouses. That said I was able to come up with six important things to know if you’re divorcing or are a special needs spouse.

Note that there is much more information on having special needs children of the marriage, which could and may be dealt with in a whole different (future) post.

I want to focus here what you can expect during divorce if special needs are a part of your situation. Obviously, disabilities refer to any sort being physical or cognitive or degenerative.

“Are you lonesome tonight? Do you miss me tonight?”

The words to that old Elvis song always tug at my heartstrings. I picture my grandmother mending socks, humming along to this song playing on her kitchen radio. She became a widow quite young. She wasn’t even 60 yet. She lived alone until the day she died (excluding her final years in a care home).

One of the hardest adjustments during divorce, is finding yourself alone. Alone. Just that simple word conjures up all kinds of not so nice feelings. When you’re alone, is it because no one wants you?

A few years ago I wrote this little post on family dynamics. It still gets comments every now and then. Last week I received a beautiful comment from a reader. I’d like to share it with you:

I’ve recently discovered the show “Better Things” on FX. I was taken with MC, Samantha (also my Starbucks pseudonym) when I happened upon an episode featuring her getting frustrated with her lover. What she said to him, few women dare to go there in bed. I’ll leave it at that. Do I have your imagination going in a few directions?

When the news story broke the other day regarding Felicity Huffman’s and Lori Loughlin’s illegal purchase of their children’s elite education, I was intrigued but not shocked. It’s not surprising to learn (as we have since Trump has been in the Oval Office) the power of money. But is this story simply about the power of money or is it about bad parenting? I guess it’s both.

Are you a single mom of a hockey player or a equestrian horse rider? How do you make ends meet and for how long can you sustain the costs of your kid’s high priced sport?

Check it out; There is a big difference between horseback riding and equestrian riding, tennis and golf, roller hockey and ice hockey, ski lessons amd ski racing. The substantial difference in not only cost but commitment on the part of your child(ren) and the family as a whole.

Sit down, relax and pour yourself a glass of vino.

You may recall, that I mentioned The Wine Diaries-Musings On Divorce Paired With Wine would be published in late autumn 2018. Well, that hasn’t happened. It isn’t because of procrastination so much as letting the manuscript mellow along with further wine tasting. Essentially, it’s a little wine with whine…

I was inspired by Marc Chernoff’s recent post at Marc & Angel hack Life. Marc lists ten hard things you shouldn’t be afraid of doing for yourself. What I took away from this list is that fear of change is the underlying culprit of happiness or the cause of —death while living.

In his post, every single thing Marc listed resonated with me. Usually when I read a ten reasons or tips post, I can take away half of them and leave the rest. Not this time.

First, I want to wish a Happy New Year to my Escapees! I hope it isn’t too late for that sentiment. What does 2019 have in store for you? Are you being kind to yourself and treating yourself with compassion. Are you turning off your inner critic? I’ve been reading a lot of posts about that very thing lately. And I couldn’t agree more with the importance of being kind not only to others but self.

But that’s not what we’re delving into today. I tricked you there, 😛