A few years ago I wrote this little post on family dynamics. It still gets comments every now and then. Last week I received a beautiful comment from a reader. I’d like to share it with you:
Hi Lisa,
I’m writing to you years after you posted this beautifully written article -but I just came upon it (2019). I don’t know if you’ll see this but I just need to tell you how much your words helped me today. It’s been 3 years since I separated from my family and through all that time I’ve been seeing a therapist. While I’m sure time will heal more wounds, I still struggle daily. Your words, however, held so much truth and power for me. They touched me so deeply that I read them aloud to my husband. We both agree that you have a way of explaining difficult and emotional concepts while imbuing them with so much compassion and understanding.
Even after all these years I constantly ask myself if my family was “really that bad.” My negative self-esteem will tell me that I’m the common denominator in all these failing relationships with my siblings and parents. My husband will then have to talk me off the proverbial cliff by reminding me of all the dysfunctional things that I have been subjected to.
While reading your words today, many of those insecurities faded into the background. It truly felt like you were talking to me… Like you understood my pain, but even better, you helped *me* understand my pain.
I will turn back to these words often. It is important to me to tell you this: Your words profoundly affected my life. Whatever your motivation was for writing this article- know that you have my sincerest gratitude.
A comment like this is why I write here at the blog. I’m hoping my words will provide inspiration for people to make necessary changes in their life. In the end, they will live happier, healthier which means more productive. When I say productive, I refer to doing things from the heart. When that happens more gets done. More suitable jobs, better friends and lovers, improved relationships. Lofty as it may sound, all of these improvements come quite naturally when we begin to make the changes in our life that reflect what is truly important to us.
Improvements come quite naturally when we begin to make the changes in our life that reflect what is truly important to us. Click To TweetSo, here’s to blogging, to sharing our hearts with words. If you’re a blogger, keep writing because you never know when your words are impacting a reader’s life. They say that only about 10% of your readers actually leave comments. So, getting this one really was special. Just imagine the people we don’t ever hear from but who have taken your writing into their heart?
I felt much like the dog in that picture. Proud, with ears perked up. Thank you to all my readers and to those who take a moment to express how my words have helped them. Much love is being sent from my corner of the world to yours.
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Marketmen
April 22, 2019 at 2:53 amhey Lisa,
Great photo and great content. impressive content share with use. thank you
Vishnu
April 21, 2019 at 11:23 pmLove the comment, Lisa. This is one of the primary reasons I write. Isn’t it so gratifying to use our pain to guide others along the journey? Your book, when I read and reviewed it a couple years ago was instructive and just as helpful and your writing here on the blog. Might be in your neck of the woods so hopefully we can connect.
lisa
April 22, 2019 at 10:43 amYES, indeed. It really is a good feeling. Thank you, Vishnu for your compliment! And yes, it would be wonderful to connect during your stay in our fine city!
Suzanne @ The Bookish Libra
April 15, 2019 at 6:49 pmThis is lovely and it has to make you feel good to know that you’ve helped someone. 🙂
lisa
April 16, 2019 at 10:06 amthank you, Suzanne! It really does 🙂
Marcia @ Menopausal Mother
April 12, 2019 at 8:05 amThis is great, and yes, your words ARE inspirational. Keep up the good work!
lisa
April 16, 2019 at 10:05 amThankyou so much, Marcia!
jane thrive
April 9, 2019 at 5:06 pmThis is soooo lovely, Lisa!! <3 <3 <3 thank you for sharing. And the family scapegoating post was so on point. <3
I feel for your comment-er–I also sometimes try to minimize what happened to me as 'not that bad,' out of insecurity, and also about being the common denominator in failed relationships 🙁 now i see it more as a theme of how i approached relationships–I accepted the love i thought i deserved. because i didn't know better. I thought love equals pain, that pain equals love. I'm still learning how to unpack that and be healthier.
Love and hugs to you and so glad you are writing and that you're out in the blogosphere! <3 I share your hope that somehow my words will help others…to reinforce that we are not alone and all on this healing journey together, no matter where we are on our personal path <3 <3 <3
lisa
April 11, 2019 at 8:43 amThank you, Jane!
Learning self worth takes time. You deserve the best! I’m certain your words are helping many, Jane! So few actually comment that it’s hard to know sometimes. Keep writing, too
Christy B
April 8, 2019 at 9:17 amLisa, wow. I was hanging onto every word in her comment. THAT is why life is amazing – look at the ways we can help one another. Your efforts to guide people are not going unnoticed and I hope you take pride in the positive difference you’re having on the world! Keep writing and helping xo
lisa
April 9, 2019 at 8:37 amThanks so much, Christy! It really is meaningful when people reach out and share. You, too 🙂
Christine Carter
April 6, 2019 at 5:16 amOH, Lisa, how I just LOVE that comment. What an incredible affirmation that what you do here on your blog is making a profound difference in the lives of people who need your help, your wisdom, and your genuine encouragement! That comment brought me to tears, and I’m sure it did for you too. I’m so happy that woman found your blog and was so deeply impacted by it.
Keep doing what you’re doing, friend. Your words matter. What a gift!
lisa
April 6, 2019 at 11:23 amIsn’t it amazing? although I hate to hear of people in pain, finding out that my words have HELPED them even in a small way brings closure for me. Bringing me back to my purpose. Back at you, Chris! <3 <3 <3
DGKaye
April 5, 2019 at 5:31 pmThere is no bigger compliment for us writers. 🙂 Every time I read a review of my work that says ‘reading this book was like sitting down for coffee with the author’ feeds the muse. And especially when they let me know they could relate or that I too have helped them. <3
lisa
April 6, 2019 at 11:21 amYes, indeed Deb! Oh, I love that you get reviews like that and it doesn’t surprise me at all how much your books have touched lives. Keep writing…I don’t have to tell YOU that 🙂 xx
Balroop Singh
April 5, 2019 at 8:53 amWords are great healers Lisa, they do make an impact on the lives of those who can’t show their wounds and hurts. We all know how important family is but if they are insensitive, if they don’t care about our feelings and emotions, we can’t wallow in self-pity. We have to stop blaming ourselves and move on. Each person plays a part in an unhealthy relationship.
Congratulations for a sterling comment on your post, you deserve it.
lisa
April 6, 2019 at 11:20 amThanks, Balroop! Words are healers, yes. Yes, our own happiness depends on ourselves. It’s important to look at what our role is in the demise of relationships but at some point, self blame will only hold us back. Looking forward is important. Thanks for sharing your thoughts here! <3 xx
Tamara
April 5, 2019 at 8:23 amThat’s really beautiful. And although I never think about not blogging, I admit that there are weeks that have me in tears, and the right comments (usually on a Friday post) really uplift.
I’m a loyal blog reader personally. I come back for more beautiful words!
lisa
April 6, 2019 at 11:17 amThanks, Tamara. I have thought about not blogging but I come back to it time and again. I love your Friday posts. I’m heading over to you now!
Marie Kléber
April 5, 2019 at 2:51 amI get you Lisa!
This kind of comment is precious and definitely proof that what we are sharing is making a difference. That’s the reason I do write too.
Keep writing dear. It’s for the best always.
Take care.
lisa
April 6, 2019 at 11:16 amThank you so much, Marie! You, too <3 xx
LA CONTESSA
April 4, 2019 at 1:49 pmABSOLUTELY that is the FUEL for THE FIRE those comments!
I ADORE YOUR NEW PHOTO on YOUR SIDEBAR!YOU look like a different person!
How old was the last photo?If I may ask?!!!!
A LOVELY COMMENT INDEED!
XX
lisa
April 4, 2019 at 3:31 pmYes, indeed they are!
I had to go over and see which picture it was LOL. That was taken exactly two years ago by my daughter. My expression is different, like I’m contemplating a dream. haha. Thanks Contessa! Always a pleasure to see you. I should mention the photo I’m using on my comment/wordpress was a selfie I shot with my iPhone probably four years ago. YIKES. Where is the time going?
LA CONTESSA
April 5, 2019 at 9:02 amIT IS FLYING!!!!!!!!!!!
ANOTHER GREAT PHOTO!!!
lisa
April 6, 2019 at 11:20 amYES, it surely is. The proverbial ‘clock with wings’. I can see it now 😀
Bren Pace
April 4, 2019 at 11:02 amI absolutely agree, Lisa. Sharing our experiences can and does help others. From the rawest posts that we can write, someone can relate and it may help them. I know your blog and books have helped many, including myself. This is one reason why I decided to go back to lifestyle writing. We’ve all been through ups and downs in our life. Sharing our stories can help others including ourselve.
B
lisa
April 4, 2019 at 3:33 pmYes and you’ve written some excellent posts, Bren sharing your experiences. I’m happy to hear you’re back lifestyle blogging! It does help many and even the ones we don’t even hear from. Nice to see you!