“Are you lonesome tonight? Do you miss me tonight?”

The words to that old Elvis song always tug at my heartstrings. I picture my grandmother mending socks, humming along to this song playing on her kitchen radio. She became a widow quite young. She wasn’t even 60 yet. She lived alone until the day she died (excluding her final years in a care home).

One of the hardest adjustments during divorce, is finding yourself alone. Alone. Just that simple word conjures up all kinds of not so nice feelings. When you’re alone, is it because no one wants you?

First, I want to wish a Happy New Year to my Escapees! I hope it isn’t too late for that sentiment. What does 2019 have in store for you? Are you being kind to yourself and treating yourself with compassion. Are you turning off your inner critic? I’ve been reading a lot of posts about that very thing lately. And I couldn’t agree more with the importance of being kind not only to others but self.

But that’s not what we’re delving into today. I tricked you there, 😛

Drew Coffman

Just my musings on my 54th Christmas and how it works as a divorced mother of three. With three adult children (one step), our family continues to grow as our children marry and bring more life into our blended family.

image source; dreamstime

At the risk of sounding smug, I’d like to warn  of these common divorce mistakes (a few that I’ve made myself). These are only a sampling of many mistakes we make but I’ve narrowed it down to the top five. So, this is a quick and dirty list of what not to do during your divorce.

Guys, as you know, I give advice here at the site and sometimes I even publish the Q & A as ‘Dear Lisa’. Is my advice always good? I hope so! However, I get all kinds of people writing me with questions and dare I say PROBLEMS.

So, this woman contacted me a month or so ago. I read through her long email. I gave it considerable thought before responding, of course.

Here’s the thing: Her question haunts me.

image source; Unsplash by liane metzler

Actually, it’s a viewer question. This is one of several contacts I receive after someone watches my youtube video on parental alienation. The comments keep coming over there and some of them quite negative. I’ve had to delete a few and guess which

image by Erin Smith

Oh my, it’s graduation, wedding, and recital season around the corner. This means ex encounters (of the third kind) of many kinds. Perhaps you’re on good terms with your ex, or maybe many years have passed so you have this down…if so skip down to the comments and tell us how you do it. On the other hand,  if you’re not,  you’ll need to be ready for this possible barrage of social ex encounters. 

Well, as promised, I have finished reading and I’m ready to share with you my review of Dr. John T. Chirban’s Collateral Damage; Guiding and Protecting You Child Through the Minefield of Divorce. (And I thought the title of my book was long).  I was given two advance copies for an honest review and giveaway here at the blog. The book is slated for publication this month. That means, the books I have for the giveaway are pre-published editions and as such have no page numbers and the Foreward is not included. 

10 Tips to improve your Christmas post divorce, is something I think will help anyone coping with co-parenting issues over the holidays. One of the most difficult times of the year for divorced and broken families is undoubtedly the Christmas Season.  Especially the first couple of years when it is a time for re-building and transitioning the new family unit.  What makes this even harder is having  to let go of old traditions.  Also, Christmas memories from before the divorce are still raw.  Due to these changes in family dynamics, the holidays become a challenge and a tug of war between households.  Neither Mom nor Dad want to be alone during this time and the children inevitably get caught in the middle.

It’s time again for “Dear Lisa, Reader Question…” I received a good one a few months ago and have been meaning to share it with you. Why? Because the question represents a common problem: A new boyfriend (or girlfriend).  Although their intentions are often good, getting involved in the divorce rarely ‘helps’ the situation.