I originally wrote this as a guest writer.  The site owner pulled it off her site when she was warned by Google that it is considered p*rn.   It’s hardly p*rn. With the trailer for the film version of the 50 Shades book series released, I thought it timely to share this post with you.

This post was updated October, 2023. There seems to be a EX Narcissist epidemic. The most common statements I hear over social media and blogging are “My Ex is a Narcissist.” OR “I was married to a Narcissist.”

Funny, you just don’t hear I was married to a complete A**hole anymore. Why?  Because the A**hole has been replaced by the Narcissist it seems.

Narcissism is a personality disorder (NPD) which technically, can only be diagnosed by a psychiatrist. But with the power of the internet we can all identify signs and symptoms of Narcissism at our fingertips. We already know what an a**hole is, right?  So, let’s find out what a Narc is…we’re  curious. We begin reading and watching youtube videos on the subject and voila, we’re convinced our Ex really is a Narcissist and maybe he IS.

10 Red flags that indicate your new man is a SHARK and NOT a fish.

Divorced women become unwitting prey for sharks skimming along just below the surface. They’re under the radar with their fin and teeth well hidden.  They’re floating in bars, restaurants, social media and dating sites.

image source; impawards.com

Last year I wrote about Alicia Florrick of The Good Wife.  I took a look at her character and how she sacrifices for a cheating husband.  She’s a great character study in discussing marriage, divorce, sacrifice and loyalty (heavy stuff).  If you missed it you can read it here.  So, after watching last week’s episode with a killer twist, I was moved to write once again, about Alicia Florrick and why we don’t want to be her.

image; pinterest

AS each  new day unfolds, so does your story.  Will you tell yours?  How will you tell it?  Will it be a comedic play, a romantic novel, a love song, a dramatic film or serious documentary.  Maybe  how isn’t as important as the simple fact

image source; Pinterest

An ideal divorce-is there such a thing?  Or is it as likely as riding a unicorn off into the sunset.  I would hazard a guess that it’s about as likely as ‘happily ever after’.  Not impossible, but not guaranteed.  First, what is an ideal divorce?

photo source; children-and-dvorce.net

One of the most destructive patterns of behavior in a divorce is Parental Alienation Syndrome or PAS as it is known in certain circles.  I hadn’t heard of the term when I separated from my husband but if only I had, I would have seen the red flags flying above my head.  While knowledge is power, I was naive. Even if you are not experiencing PAS, it’s important to understand what it is and at least recognize the signs.

image; Jan’spageofawesomeness tumblr

Autumn always signals personal reassessment for me.  Whether it be in my home, my closets, my work and creativity, or even relationships.  It must be that old, back to school feeling.  Remember when you would get taken out by your mother for back to school shoes? It was so special and exciting you might even get a new dress or jacket out of the deal. 

photo credit JourneyEversPhotography

After divorce we feel defeated in love.  We might stop believing in it altogether.

We may be spending what little energy we have left after the battle, providing and being there for our children.   We’ve stopped believing in fairy tales but the time will come eventually when we look forward to new relationship(s).

Maybe we’re even looking for that perfect fit we call love.  You know what I mean…that someone out there who holds the key to our heart, if only we knew where to find them!

Who holds the key to your heart?

Ryan O’Neal with daughter Tatum circa 1975

Recently, dining out in a casual restaurant I observed a father and daughter sitting at the next table.  There was quiet conversation over a beer while they waited for their meal.  Shortly after the extra large pizza arrived, the daughter got up from the table with a shake of the head as though the pizza was making her suddenly ill.

The father in a flash was left sitting alone seemingly bewildered.

He explained to the kind waitress the pizza would now be ‘to go’.  As she carefully took the pizza from the table I discretely