One of the biggest changes during divorce is losing the marital home, which I have written about before here.
It’s a loss that isn’t easy to swallow for many couples who have taken pride in their home. Dare I say, they’ve considered their home something of a status symbol or a page out of a decorating magazine? That will all change. You’ll see though that what really matters isn’t the shell of a home but who and what is inside it. Continue reading “Making a New Home for You & Your Children After Divorce”
Letting go of our stuff is one of the steps to moving forward but how and when can we do this? That’s the tricky part and there isn’t one perfect answer. Each of us hold different attachments to our things, stuff. We all have various degrees of emotional attachment. At the outset of divorce we can be a little too hasty in discarding our old life. Until some time passes, we don’t know what these items will mean to us. What memory will they evoke or what part of ourselves will they represent. if any? If you’re not sure right now, then keep them and let some time pass before revisiting their worth. Continue reading “Everything Must Go”
Who’s that girl? They whisper as you walk away. “I used to know her when…” Reluctant to look you in the eye, they’ll watch you walk away. Their eyes burn your back. Talking to one another in hushed tones, they lean together conspiratorially. You would smile and say hello if only they would acknowledge you. Even so, you walk away with your head held high. Continue reading “Who’s That Girl?”
On facebook the other day, a divorced father and friend of mine (from one of the first divorce support groups I belonged to) posted an interesting set of photos. The status update read “went to see the old house today with the kids. We peeked inside the windows and went in the backyard. I planted that tree and look how big it is now.” He had some of his old photos mixed in with photos he took of the kids beside the tree today. I thought it was really great how he had images of 10 years ago and today, how the kids and trees had grown. Bitter-sweet, I think.
It got me thinking about my recent view of my old marital home, where my babies were born. I didn’t get to walk around and peek in windows. My view was a virtual one. I couldn’t see the back of the house but this sketch is from memory. It’s obvious I’m not an architect 😉 I must practice my sketching skills but I digress. Continue reading “Can We Go Home Again?”
“Lisa, you’ve changed.” he said. I wanted to answer;
“Yes, you’ve changed me.” Instead, I simply stared and waited for him to finish his point, which he did not.
I won’t say who said it or when. I will say that it’s been said by more than one person. I will also say that it’s true. I have changed. Since when? I’m not sure…but I have changed. Here’s the thing, I’m a human being. I’m not an inanimate object. If I’m not changing then I must be dead.
Isn’t it true that we have to go through something to really understand it? We can plan and have opinions about something but until it happens to us we don’t grasp the full concept. Divorce is no different. I guess it’s a little like death of a loved one. Again, it’s something we have to go through, get to the other side before we understand it. Continue reading “10 Things I Wish I Knew Before My Divorce”
Another year has passed by and again, I ask how did this happen? I was looking the other way. I was writing, fighting, relaxing, loving, answering, asking…I was being. Continue reading “Ready, Set, GO 2016”
I used to get strange looks sometimes, usually after I said something without my filter in place. I would quickly retract and think about putting my filter on before speaking. I would edit myself for approval. That was a long time ago, when I was much older. Continue reading “The Wine Diaries-Editing For Approval”
#1000VoicesSpeak for Compassion today and on the 20th of every month. The subject this month? CONNECTION. We don’t always feel it. My first thought on this topic was how often I have felt disconnected but my constant connection has been nature. If you ever feel alone or lonely… Continue reading “Alone But Connected #1000Speak”
“Courage is found in unlikely places.”-J.R.R Tolkien
Two things you’ll need to make any major change in your life are a shot of courage and a slice of bravery. Actually, before you even begin to make the changes you’ll need to identify and admit to the necessity of that change. That’s where we especially need a shot of courage and that’s only the beginning. The rest is getting from here to where we want to be. Continue reading “A Shot Of Courage”