The Royal Tenenbaums is a film about family relationships including divorce and separation. 

It is one of Wes Anderson’s finest films featuring twisted, kinky, loving,  cheated and needy people who make up a mostly neurotic family.

Why would I choose to highlight this film on my blog?  Simple.  It’s a great example of taking situations related to divorce and making them funny…and…if the Royal Tenenbaums can get through their outrageous problems so can we…

Being too nice during your divorce

can cost you…money, assets and even the kids.  I’ve heard many stories of regret and loss due to taking the ‘high road’ and being ‘nice’.  This is especially true for us women as we are raised to be caring and nurturing. It’s part of our feminine quality.  It’s double true for women who make the decision to leave.  They, more than anyone are troubled with guilt which leads to being too nice and trying to keep everyone happy.

I’ve been known to say “It’s the moments that count.”  I said it in my book, chapter 1 to be precise.  Just as in a marriage, it is true during the divorce process as well.  We tend to put a great deal of emphasis on the big moments of life like weddings, divorce, giving birth, a long awaited promotion, or finally taking that exotic vacation.  All of these big moments are exciting and they give us things to strive for and look forward to however, they are few and far between in life.  If we’re only getting excited about these things then what are we doing in the in-between times?

photo source; children-and-dvorce.net

One of the most destructive patterns of behavior in a divorce is Parental Alienation Syndrome or PAS as it is known in certain circles.  I hadn’t heard of the term when I separated from my husband but if only I had, I would have seen the red flags flying above my head.  While knowledge is power, I was naive. Even if you are not experiencing PAS, it’s important to understand what it is and at least recognize the signs.

image source; Dreamstime

From the archives, a common dilemma divorcing women face:

When we find out we’re expecting we are overwhelmed and delighted by the prospect of entering a new phase in our life; motherhood.  We want to do what’s best for our babies.  Thus begins the long path of putting our children’s needs before our own.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying this is a bad thing however as we learn years later, the decision we thought was the best at one point ends up hurting us.  If you are like me and stayed home to raise your children you have given up the prospects of furthering your career during all of those years.  The rewards and benefits of staying home are invaluable to our children but there is a price to pay in the event of divorce.  We stay at home moms are

image; Jan’spageofawesomeness tumblr

Autumn always signals personal reassessment for me.  Whether it be in my home, my closets, my work and creativity, or even relationships.  It must be that old, back to school feeling.  Remember when you would get taken out by your mother for back to school shoes? It was so special and exciting you might even get a new dress or jacket out of the deal. 

Book Review…i and the Great Divide by Fiona McGlynn

New author Fiona McGlynn has created, with illustrator Robin Urquhart a book that explains divorce for children.  i And the Great Divide is a simple and visually appealing book designed to help the younger child understand divorce in their family.  The most important message in the book? It’s not your fault…ever.  Mom and Dad still love you.

“Dreams are often most profound when they seem the most crazy.” -Sigmund Freud

Henri Matisse

Whoever said dreams are meaningless was wrong.  Do you suffer from nocturnal meanderings that disturb your sleep?  Our subconscious thoughts get mixed up with our events of the day to culminate in some pretty strange dreams.  During divorce, our daytime events are often full of stress and conflict.  What we would like to forget at the end of the day can come back to haunt us in our

source; Pinterest

One of the most startling changes during my divorce, was my perception of myself. That sounds strange but when I was married I was a good girl.  I was a good wife.  I understood my role and made the best of my marital life.  I played by the rules.  I fulfilled expectations as a soccer mom, school volunteer and as a friend and business wife.  I wouldn’t call myself a trophy wife as that would suggest I spent many hours primping and looking

Should you buy or rent during divorce?  Ideally, we would like to keep the matrimonial home and live there with the children.  The last thing we want to do is let go of all of those memories we’ve made there.  However, the cost of the household and your ex maintaining his own house is not feasible for many divorcing couples.   The reality is most couples end up selling the matrimonial home and each downsizing to accommodate a maxed out budget.  But it’s not as bad as it sounds.  The question