image source iampoopsie.com

One of the inevitable side effects of divorce is the ensuing gossip.  Yes, little old you become fodder and material for idle gossip.  Whether they’re neighbors, teachers, friends, acquaintances or sports parents your name seems to be on the tip of their tongue.

  “The most beautiful people I’ve known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss,   and have found their way out of the depths.”
― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

LOSS-we all experience it, especially during divorce.  The fact is we lose stuff everyday; a thought, our keys, our phone, a memory, our coins, a contest, a challenge, a call and the biggest one of all—TIME.

In tackling this subject I really wanted to express the idea that loss is something we all deal with whether they’re losses that leave a crevice in our hearts or small ones, that niggle on the left side of our brain.

Loss is just an unfortunate part of life…

I’ve been known to say “It’s the moments that count.”  I said it in my book, chapter 1 to be precise.  Just as in a marriage, it is true during the divorce process as well.  We tend to put a great deal of emphasis on the big moments of life like weddings, divorce, giving birth, a long awaited promotion, or finally taking that exotic vacation.  All of these big moments are exciting and they give us things to strive for and look forward to however, they are few and far between in life.  If we’re only getting excited about these things then what are we doing in the in-between times?

I was perusing a few antique stores the other day in Gastown, a funky neighborhood in my hometown of Vancouver.  I always find it interesting that in every store there is inevitably a box full of old, black and white family photos.  Who are these people?  Well, they could be anyone.  They could be my own relatives and I wouldn’t even know it! These snaps made me think about how all of our family photos are similar.    These old photos each tell their own story but collectively they reflect a certain time, with certain attitudes and mores.

The wedding photos in particular, made me smile to myself.  Must

Today’s quote of the week couldn’t be more relevant than during divorce or any other life crisis…

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” – Marcel Proust

Surround yourself with supportive people who make you smile and send love your way.  Leave alone the ones who fill you with self doubt.  To reiterate this quote…

Here is a quote from a writer who lived on the outside of the social scene.  An eccentric who’s writings were not respected while alive but has influenced contemporary writers of this and the last century.  Who said this…

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” – Soren Kierkegaard

I guess another way of saying this is “hindsight is 20/20” or “if only I had known___”.  The point is sometimes we don’t know WHY things happen but in time the answers are revealed to us.  In the meantime…since we have no choice but to live forwards might as well take a leap….

source; Pinterest

your thoughts?

Leave a comment, I LOVE ’em!

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you moms out there!  Special wishes to the single moms doing it all alone.  Single moms are some of the strongest and most determined women in the world.

How do you define motherhood?  I remember when I was young and expecting my first child, I was so excited.  The anticipation of caring for a tiny human was almost overwhelming. 

The bewildering changes in my body as the pregnancy progressed were nothing compared to the changes to come.  But ignorance is bliss.  I was sure if I had enough hooded towels for baby, everything would be fine. As my baby grew inside me week by week, I was filled with questions.  Who would he or she look like?  (Knowing the gender prior to birth was rare in the ‘olden days’)  Would they be perfect in every way?  What would they become?  Sometimes I doubted my ability to be a mother.

Letting go is a big divorce phrase that get thrown around by friends, family, lawyers, mediators and random folks.  Everyone talks about it like it’s putting your shoes on to go out.  It should just

“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into somebody else’s plan.  And guess what they have planned for you?  Not much.”  Jim Rohn

Start planning! Start making decisions that are in your own best interests.  Start dreaming about the future, you control it.  Set a new goal and think about how you’ll get there.  You can do it!

Remember:

photo credit: Lynn Knowlton from Design the Life You Want to Live

p.s. check out her site. She’s inspiring, fun and gives tips on designing a great life…ya, right on topic

How did you design your life plan?

Leave a comment, I LOVE ’em!

This week’s quote if the week,

   “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”  – Elbert Hubbard

On that note, here are some smiles for us today… FUNNY WOMEN…