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I can’t overstate the importance of updating your will during divorce.  Since divorce can take years to process, your life feels like it’s in a constant state of transition. Untying knots requires tying up loose ends.  One of those is your will.  You certainly don’t want your STBX acting as your

Bonjour!  What does divorce have to do with your beauty? Everything.  During any life challenge or change, we tend to let go of our beauty rituals.  We run out of time, money and simply lose sight of the importance of feeling beautiful.  But feeling beautiful inside and OUT is the key to self confidence, just ask any French Goddess.

From the archives…Feeling pissed about Cupid this year?  It’s difficult after separation to feel inspired about a day dedicated to love when you feel your heart is broken.  But in order to mend your heart, you have to start loving yourself.

In our marriages we often put ourselves last.  We even learn to stop loving ourselves.  How do we undo this?  We begin by treating ourselves right.  Turn Valentine’s Day into I HEART

It’s supposed to heal but a moment in time can break you.  It’s the one thing we can’t buy.  There is no price on it because it’s invaluable. Yet we squander it away as if we have forever.  We remember the moments but not necessarily whole days.  Let’s talk about the illusive structure of our lives:  Time…

Tick. … Tock.   It’s ticking away while we’re ‘busy making other plans’ (John Lennon).

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One of the inevitable side effects of divorce is the ensuing gossip.  Yes, little old you become fodder and material for idle gossip.  Whether they’re neighbors, teachers, friends, acquaintances or sports parents your name seems to be on the tip of their tongue.

Speaking of perfection…do you fear your Christmas won’t be up to snuff?  Your gifts will be all ‘wrong’, your meal burnt?  Well, join the club.

Even though I’m almost finished my shopping, I still wonder if I bought enough and if everyone will be satisfied.  Has my love been adequately expressed through carefully wrapped gifts?  Nevertheless I’ve given much thought to who’s been naughty and who’s been nice!

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The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown is definitely an antidote to therapy.  In therapy we look inside to see where we went wrong…but in the book, Brene reminds us to look outside ourselves and see the big picture.  It’s comforting when you’re going through difficult life changes, to know that it’s better to look at the big picture than focusing on your flaws.

From the archives…dealing with anger never goes out of style.

Did you remember to take your happy pill today?  Last week?  Last month, last year?  OOps.  It’s hard to feel happy in the middle of an emotionally and financially taxing divorce.  Forgiveness, love, joy and fun are often substituted with grudge, hate, worry and anger.  So how do we deal with these negative emotions? Since we can’t take a happy pill and get over it, we have to look to other methods to adapt.  How about embracing it?  Owning it? 

Hint: It wasn’t a love letter…Today I’m over at DivorcedMoms.com. Come on over and check out this fabulous site.  It proves to be an unprecedented resource for women navigating divorce.

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From the archives, how to cheer up the darker days…

The days are getting shorter, the nights colder.  Although we can’t bring back the light of the summer and we can’t stop the rain from falling on our heads, there are always the simple, small ways to lift our spirits.  If you are mid-divorce especially, the darkness out your window only adds to your dark mood.