Divorce Tips

Tips for Shared Parenting

as taken from The Great Escape; A Girl’s Guide to Leaving a Marriage

Tips for Successful Shared Parenting
[image_right src=”http://www.lisathomsonlive.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/tips_pic1.jpg”]I recommend Fridays for your trade day, as you start your time with the kids on a positive note with the weekend ahead and lots of time to prep for the upcoming week of school. A friend of mine has Monday as the trade day and it works great for them
do not choose Sunday as your trade day simply because you get them back with dirty laundry and homework that needs to be done and possibly at too late an hour to deal with for Monday morning
try your best to communicate directly with the other parent and refrain from sending messages through the children if the telephone is too emotional, try emails
set a time and day on a weekly basis, where you both agree to communicate (maybe fifteen minutes) about the kids so you can both be attuned to events, homework, problems or requests the kids have
try to agree on issues before telling the kids about plans, gifts, trips, holidays, etc.
getting the other parent’s consent before announcing things to the kids is the most civilized and fair way to handle ongoing issues
try your best to stick to schedules
keep photos of the other parent in your children’s rooms, it provides a source of comfort for the children while away from the other home

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Legal Tips
Retaining a lawyer
get several names of lawyers instead of only one or two
you can find names of lawyers in your city, province or state here www.lawyerlocate.ca for Canada and www.findlaw.com for U.S.
attend free consultations with all of them
bring in questions to ask them at the consultation to get a feel for their personality, how they operate their business,
their legal philosophy, their fees and hourly rates
getting this information before retaining a lawyer will help you find the right one for you and your situation

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Do Your Homework
read up on divorce law and familiarize yourself with legal terms so you can communicate with your lawyer more
before signing, fully read the “retainer agreement” a lawyer will give you.  It outlines their rights to collecting money for
bills and their hourly rates and fees and costs
Try to retain a lawyer who specializes in family law because this will allow maximum efficiency of your case

After retaining a lawyer, what you can do to move your case forward
Be available to sign documents
Read all material they give you
Give suggestions for your affidavits
Be assertive but in a polite way

Little known facts about Lawyers
[image_right src=”http://www.lisathomsonlive.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/tips_pic2.jpg”]They are always right (or so they think)
They can increase their hourly rate without telling you, and at anytime
They charge half day or full day if they have to go to court – a half day charge could be as much as $3,000
They charge for every email they read and write even if it takes less than a minute, and they charge for every phone call
They charge steep costs for photocopying ($1/page)
They are friends with other lawyers and often will make deals and offer extensions for deadlines to each other – this
can be detrimental to your divorce proceedings
For all of the above reasons that is why it is important to find a lawyer you can feel comfortable with and communicate
well with because this is a business relationship and one that will require self confidence and some knowledge on
your behalf


The legal process can be overwhelming especially if you have never had to deal with it before as was in my case.  Trust your gut in making legal decisions, be self confident and look at it as a learning experience, one that will make you stronger.  In years to come, you will need lawyers for various reasons and you will know how to deal with it thanks to your divorce!  Good luck.

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Note to reader: I am not a lawyer and I am not giving “Legal advice”. I am providing legal information based on my legal experiences.

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3 Replies to “Divorce Tips”

  1. These are some great tips! I’d imagine most of the legal process is unknown to the average person. That’s why you’re exactly right – you need to be exhaustive when you search for the right lawyer. Thanks!

  2. Divorce, separation, illness, loss of a parent is never easy for children. My parent’s never got divorced but my dad became ill when I was 8 and I remember how tough it was and the acting out. I guess my point is that any major blow is like a loss to a child, and I love seeing the similarity in these articles on how to help your child cope.
    B Whitfield recently posted…Tacoma Real Estate AttorneyMy Profile

  3. These tips are useful and informative. An experienced family law attorney will know whether your divorce may be best resolved through alternative dispute resolution processes like mediation or collaborative family law — potentially saving you time, money, and emotional energy.

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