4 am in La La Land

4 am in La La Land
A dreamy image by artist Kathe Soave

At 4 am we pretty much think of everything and anything. What’s right with the world and what’s wrong. What we love and what we hate. Good and bad.  A time where dreams and reality sometimes collide.

That’s what life is, a collision. Shifting time passages, repetition, dreams and reality mixed in a blender of life.

Go see La La Land. It will put an exclamation point on it.

My Own Personal La La Land

Oh, and it really is 4 am as I write this.

I awoke from a dream. I was washing a dirty pan and although it was coming out clean, I kept scrubbing. Then I fell asleep on the couch (not my couch), in front of the television in a room with a large glass door (not my television or room) that appeared to be open and the gauzy curtain lifted with the in coming breeze.

In reality, we live in a an apartment not a house. Maybe this is our future house? It was a little rancher with a few steps up to the kitchen (where I was scrubbing the dishes—keep up). Don’t you love when your dreams take you to unfamiliar places? Or, maybe they’re familiar but you’ve never actually been there before.

Back to my dream, I awoke on what was apparently my couch and suddenly a tiny dog leapt up onto my chest. He was so warm! I was surprised because I was unaware we had a dog. He slipped off the couch and fell to the floor. He made that squeak that dogs make when they’re startled. I tried to pick him up to comfort him but he jumped out of my arms too fast and again took a hard landing. I shouted out to my Beau “Babe, don’t forget to feed the dog!” I don’t think he heard me though because just then I realized he was in the shower. I could hear the water running and him singing.

In reality and in la la land, he does sing in the shower so that wasn’t as surprising as the dog on my chest, who I couldn’t recall feeding ever. I hadn’t seen any bowls indicating this little guy had even been given water…
“Babe where are the dog bowls?” I shouted to him somehow knowing he would never hear me. He must have left for work.

4 am Where Dreams and Reality Collide

I often try to figure out the meaning of my dream even though half the time they don’t mean anything at all. Just left over thoughts. I’m not sure I believe in that theory…Still, when they’re so vivid I think there is a message there. This one? Futility. That’s the word that comes to mind. Washing a dish that appears clean, a dog that’s never been fed or cared for (although he wasn’t skinny). I think he was a little chihuahua by the way. The running water…always running water. In reality, there is always running water between the dishwasher, the washing machine, the shower…

In reality, some things have felt futile in my life while others leave marks. Do we ever really know what our efforts will reward us with in the future. Will we make our dreams come true?

I’m not sure where I’m going with this post, guys it’s just that I lay awake thinking about everything and how life doesn’t have tidy conclusions. No matter how hard we try, it isn’t perfect, there’s always dirty dishes to clean and tests to be done, results to wait for and curve balls to catch. Futile? It feels like it sometimes but usually there’s a reason.

Speaking of Dreams

Go see La La Land. It will put an exclamation point on it. Did I already say that?

My Beau took me to La La Land (or did I take him?). I was excited to see it because well, 7 Golden Globes and all. Plus, my son saw it and he told me it was not to be missed. Sooooo, I broke the news to my beau that I wanted to see it and he didn’t bat an eye or take a deep sigh. Nope. He simply nodded then went to check out the trailer.

On our way to the theater I warned him that a. It’s a musical and b. It’s fantasy. It began with a spectacular opening scene—musical style. For a moment I thought I had erred in my judgment. I had finally pushed my Beau too far. I have now taken full advantage of his good nature and loving ways…making him sit through a musical? What was I thinking? Yes, it’s true he took me to Mamma Mia but that was so many years ago it would be safe to say it was while we were still in the romantic phase of our relationship so of course, he took me to Mamma Mia. Oh, but he also loves Abba.

But we’re over ten years in now and he may resent this whole thing. He doesn’t even care for Jazz.

I was wrong.

As I relaxed into the movie I almost forgot he was beside me until Ryan Gosling says to Emma Stone “Trust me, I know these things.” At which point I nudged him. He is always saying this to me. Ryan stole his line.

Meanwhile, Ryan Gosling on the piano. Emma singing and dancing. Jazz, baby. If you love Jazz, you will enjoy that element of the film but even if you don’t —it’s quite magical. The characters go through the mundane, the unexciting and futile auditions and well, ‘time passages’ and life’s curve balls, just like us.

When the lights came up, we sat still a moment taking it in. He looked at me and asked me if I liked it. “Yes” I said and kissed him. Then I asked him how many Survival shows I will need to watch with him to make it up.

If you’re feeling futile, uninspired, worried, anxious or you’re about to give up on your dreams, go see La La Land. Take your hubs or round up the girlfriends.

Book Giveaway Winners!

I hadn’t forgotten.  I put the names in the hat and here are the winners…drum roll….

Wendi Anderson
Jane Thrive

Thank you, Escapees for leaving a comment and showing interest in my book giveaway. Happy reading to Wendi and Jane!

On another note, I will be away for the next few weeks. I will check in here and there on social media and will be back in full swing the second week of February.

What are your nocturnal musings? Have you seen La La Land?

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28 Replies to “4 am in La La Land”

  1. I am never awake at 4 AM. Even if a dream wakes me, I stay in bed. I certainly don’t pop on the computer to blog about it. HAHAHA!!!!

    In my dreams, I’m always taken back to my childhood home. Always. Even if it looks completely different, I know it’s my childhood home. I think it’s because I miss it.

    I also try to decipher my dreams.

    I want to see La La Land, too. Mostly it’s because I love Emma Stone, But Ryan is nice to look at it. 😉

    1. You’re never awake at 4 am? Ever? Lucky you…! Haha, ya sometimes I write. Most times I stay in bed and read until I get sleepy again. That’s interesting about your childhood home. Sometimes I find myself in my childhood home in my dream but it’s exactly the same or as I remember it.

      You’ll love the movie, Chrys!

    1. Hi Jeri, well I’m glad I’m not the only one. I make lists on my iphone if I can’t go back to sleep. 6 hours seems to be a magic number. 🙂

  2. Hi Lisa,

    I loved this post and your La La Land!
    Dreams are so fabulous…we all enjoy them if they happen to be pleasant. Most of my dreams are a conglomeration of various incidents that happened in the past and yes, one setting which remains repetitive is my childhood home…always the same but we are all grown up with our children.

    I never make an effort to see the time if I wake up in the middle of the night or even early morning…unless I get wide awake and fail to fall back into REM state.
    Wishing you a relaxing and joyous vacation Lisa. Stay blessed 🙂
    Balroop Singh recently posted…Self-deception And Suffering…Do we have a choice?My Profile

    1. Thanks, Balroop. This was kind of a streaming/dreaming post so thanks for getting it 🙂 You have the childhood home dream too! Oooh, I’m looking forward to my break. See you in February, Balroop xo

  3. Dreams – I always wonder Lisa what my dreams are trying to tell me. If they are good I wish I could stay alseep a bit longer. If not, I try to let them go. That’s not always that easy thought!

    I’d love to see La La Land, we do hear a lot about it. And I bet it’s a feel-good movie, something I need from time to time.

    May you have a beautiful holiday Lisa. Enjoy!
    Love from sunny Paris.
    Marie Kléber recently posted…I am a Dreamer @WMNMy Profile

    1. I do too, Marie. I’ve had dreams that I was bummed to wake up from. Others aren’t so pleasant 🙂 Let me know what you think of La La Land if you see it. Love back to you, Marie from rainy British Columbia.

  4. I hope you have a great break/vacation. I am a long-time insomniac, so yes, I used to get up and write when I couldn’t go back to sleep. Now, mostly I try to stay in bed and get to sleep again because I always feel like crap the next day if I stay up too long. Sometimes when it is hopeless, I go pick up a book, and that usually works. Turning on a computer or iPad just gets me revved up!

    I dream vividly and a lot of my dreams seem to have much to do with my childhood home, or a sense of home, although sometimes the house looks familiar and sometimes not. Unfortunately I still have nightmares about The Abusive Sperm Donor to whom I was only married a bit over 7 years. You would think after all this time that those would go away, but the level of abuse, both emotional and physical, that has become embedded in my subconscious and refuses to be expunged still colors my dreams sometimes.

    Most of my dreams connected with home involves a sense of panic, trying to find my way home again. I just cannot seem to find it! I sometimes dream of my parents, and usually my son is a little boy, not the grown man he is now, and we cannot seem to get home for whatever reason. I am sure this is probably connected in some way to the fact that our life with his horrible ASD/sorry excuse for a father was so peripatetic and unsettled, always living like a bunch of gypsies. Nothing was ever permanent or for long. I lived the first 18 years of my life in the same house, and I always had that sense of safety and stability which my life with the ASD totally lacked.

    Sorry to make such a long comment, but your post pushed the button, I guess!

    1. Hi Ellen, Thank you for admitting to writing in the middle of the night Ha! I thought I was weird but no. I also try to stay in bed to go back to sleep. The sleep experts say that’s better (than having a random character get you out of bed to write about them) to stay in bed. Ah, another ‘childhood home’ dreamer. Same over here and i’m glad to hear this is a ‘thing’.

      Ellen, I also have dreams where my grown children are small again. It’s disconcerting.

      I’m sorry your ex has left scars. I’m not sure you ever get over that kind of experience. In spite of that, you have been successful and raised a boy to be a wonderful man. So, you made it through!

  5. Hi Lisa, In my dreams, I too see La La land, The dream will be going nice and smooth but often ends with a horrific roar. My mom will be standing there shouting at me to start to my college. Ohh 8:am … it’s college again.

    I really enjoyed the way you wrote this article. It was a bit quirky and the flow was seamless. I enjoyed reading till the end. Its always good to read a story.

  6. I have been wondering about dreams for ages. My mom looks at them spiritually – with symbols and totems and omens. I look at them psychologically, mostly, but there’s no shame in doing both.
    Hey, I saw La La Land today! I went at noon. I wanted to be alone in a dark theater and AWAY from the news and Facebook..
    I’m in love with it!
    Tamara recently posted…Bacon-Wrapped Tater Tot Cheese BombsMy Profile

    1. Dreams are crazy. Don’t know if we can figure them out. Oh, sounds like the perfect way to see la la land. How about that ending? F**k! Incredible. I won’t offer any spoilers.

  7. Hey Lisa – hope you’re having a good new year. I did want to see this over the holidays but opted to see Jackie instead. That was great too about JFK’s wife in the US. Wasnt sure about a musical but 3 things might have changed my mind: your review, all those Golden Globes plus being reminded that every Bollywood movie I’ve ever watched is a musical in some way (12 songs minimum : ) Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for sharing your experience.

    1. Happy new year Vishnu! I will definitely see Jackie. Ha, Bollywood does a musical better than Hollywood but this one might be an exception. Truly wonderful! Let me know what you think.

  8. I love this post. I’ve been feeling this way lately, myself, like I’m in an alternate reality, my very own La La Land (but maybe not always the good kind?). Anyway, I really REALLY need to see this movie. Last weekend it was between this one and Manchester by the Sea which I’ve been thinking about A LOT lately… still processing I think (it’s very, very sad but also puts you in deep thinks).

    Your dreams sound like mine. Isn’t it funny how something happens and you accept it like, “hey, this isn’t my dog, but OKAY!” lol. I’m not sure what it means either, but I love to try to figure out their meaning… and your analysis sounds pretty accurate!

    PS: I love Abba, too 🙂

    Charlotte recently posted…Globe In–for the traveler in your lifeMy Profile

    1. Oh, Charlotte, my son has been talking about Manchester by the Sea for months and insists I will love it! It wasn’t even playing here until recently and then in limited theatres. It’s on my list. I’ve heard same it’s sad (son told me to bring kleenex). Do watch La la land…it’s hard to explain but gets under the skin.

      “Hey this is my dog” haha exactly! Makes me want a dog 😀

      1. I’ll let you know once I’ve seen it! It’s definitely on my list 🙂 And Manchester… It’s weird. I can’t say I liked it necessarily? But I won’t spoil anything. It’s just one of those movies you think about a lot after it ends 🙂


        1. Ah, it sounds kind of like a depressing movie…Michelle Williams is an amazing actress and seems to always take those tough roles. Based on her alone, I’ve no doubt Manchester will be disturbing yet worth a watch.

          Do let me know after you see La La Land ☺️

  9. Dreams can be a funny thing. Maybe the water in your dream symbolises that things will all flow together at some point, or maybe a part of your life will diverge into another. Maybe the dog jumping on you means that there is a lot of love coming your way soon 🙂

    I’ve heard that if you dream of something, it won’t come true. I don’t know how true that is. I always have very vivid dreams and some of them have come true. Last year I was on a contract at my work and I dreamed that my work would extend my contract. More than half a year later, that dream came true.

    As for La La Land, I have yet to see it 🙂
    Mabel Kwong recently posted…8 Common Stereotypes And Misconceptions About AustraliansMy Profile

    1. Mabel, you’re so wise! I did truly feel the love from that little unknown dog. As for dreams coming true—hard to say. I’ve had dreams that have made sense later and some that reflect something happening right now. A work extension is a good dream and reality..good for you!

    1. Hey Charlotte, yes all is good. I’m enjoying my last few days of vacay. I look forward to catching up when I’m back 🙂

    1. Hi Marcia, thank you! I think you’ll enjoy it—really. It’s always a bit strange at first, if you’re not used to musicals but once you let the magic pull you in…it’s entertaining!

  10. My grandma was a firm believer that dreams had hidden meanings. She had books and books and books on them. My dreams are so wild now thanks to the medications that I take so I couldn’t even begin to tell you why I was dreaming about making beer bongs for my best friends in grade school who were sitting in my garage and we all had to take turns hitting a baseball at a tornado.
    Weird eh?
    Kimberly recently posted…When The Sun Isn’t EnoughMy Profile

    1. Ha! That sounds like one of my crazy dreams. Sometimes I’ll have a really nice one though, with people I haven’t seen in ages who I miss dearly. Those are good ones. That’s interesting about your Grandma. I would love to read her books. 🙂

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