Tis the season…for weddings. Yay. Sometimes the last thing we feel like doing is attending a wedding as a single divorcee. The romance, the dancing, the ‘love’ in the air is enough to choke the bitterness right out of us.
My first wedding post divorce, was a strange affair. I remember coming home after, flopping on the couch with a deep sigh. “That was one of the worst weddings I’ve ever been to.” I said to
the wall no one in particular. I just wanted to get my dress off, put some sweat pants on and forget it happened.
It’s not that it was sticky sweet, quite the contrary. The bride wore pants. They served coffee. The appointed service time was 11am—-on a Sunday. So, no it wasn’t overly romantic. It was just a combination of things that made me incredibly uncomfortable. As well as being a single without someone to complain to under my breath made it even worse. I stood there lost, looking for someone to mingle with over coffee. I wished I could disappear into the 1940’s wallpaper that covered the quaint Inn walls.
How do you make sure this doesn’t happen to you? Say no to any wedding held before Noon, that would be a good rule of thumb to keep you from an awkward brunch. Say no to any wedding held in the basement of an ‘Inn’.
What if your plus one is someone your friends don’t see as a plus? They judge your plus one and compare him/her to your ex…
OR, you don’t have a plus one? No problem.
Maybe you go solo and watch the first dance while schmoozing with the Maid of Honor, discussing the divorce rate. You could inquire about the Pre-Nup and roll your eyes when you find out there isn’t one—muttering ‘idiots’ under your breath. Which brings me to what not to do…
What NOT to do this wedding season…
1 Drink the whole bottle of champage before the dinner and then get the hiccups during speeches.
2 stay home and forget to send a gift
3 Talk about your divorce
4 photo bomb every family picture (with a frown)
5 Hit on the Groom
Okay, I know you would never do any of these things…but sometimes we feel so out of place and so unhappy with our own love life especially when our own marriage is over…that we don’t even realize how we’re coming across. Weddings are just so ‘hopeful’ and full of ‘romance’ and we’re feeling the complete opposite. So, ya it’s going to feel like a chore, which brings me to what to do…
What to DO this wedding season…
1 Show up looking your best –if that means a day at the spa and a new dress…then DO
2 Leave your divorce story at home on the couch—it doesn’t define you
3 Bring your ‘single man’ binoculars—seek out a handsome single man to share a dance or two
4 Hire a hot date-–think The Wedding Date
5 Take a good friend as your plus one
If you can’t do at least three of these things on the list maybe you are better off to send the gift and stay home. There’s nothing wrong with knowing in your heart how much you can handle on the wedding circuit and when to say ‘no’.
Wedding movies to prime you on what not to do this season;
Ideally, we’ll leave the attitude at home, enjoy a little champagne, don’t forget to smile and finally, be there with our family and friends. You can do it, with or without a plus one! So, put your lipstick on and get going! Don’t forget, you’re beautiful!
Are you attending any weddings this season? Do you have a wedding story?
Leave a comment, I LOVE ’em!