Making a New Home for You & Your Children After Divorce

Making a new home for you and your children after divorce
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One of the biggest changes during divorce is losing the marital home, which I have written about before here.

It’s a loss that isn’t easy to swallow for many couples who have taken pride in their home. Dare I say, they’ve considered their home something of a status symbol or a page out of a decorating magazine? That will all change. You’ll see though that what really matters isn’t the shell of a home but who and what is inside it.

Even if you’re downsizing and moving to a much smaller home, you can make it just as ‘homey’ for your children. It feels like you’re giving up a part of yourself but in the end, you’re only changing a part of you. Making it more efficient, less costly and an improved reflection of your new life, after divorce.

10 easy ways to make a new home

Sort-keep what’s important to you and the children.

Purge-what you no longer need. Sell or donate.

Arrange furniture in a way that you will use it rather than in traditional sense-for example, your dining room may be better used as a homework center, complete with desk top, printer and filing cabinet. I know for myself that entertaining became much less frequent as a divorcee, compared to when I was married. And when I did entertain, we hung out in the small kitchen.

Swap old window coverings for new ones-this can be done in a cost effective way and make a huge difference in updating a space. Home Depot and other hardware stores will install your window coverings for free. You have to measure and order them yourself. Measure the inside of the window frame for both height and length in three places; at the top, middle and bottom. Take the largest measurement as the correct one to leave wiggle room for the window covering (often the frame is not perfectly straight).

Choose a color scheme-nothing makes impact greater than color. Choose a scheme or even a single color to add to your home decor by using pillows, throws, curtains and paint. All of these items can be found within a budget and will not break the bank. The impact will look like you hired a designer. When we moved into our apartment, I chose red with a hint of green (complementary scheme) with a black base. It made an immediate impact.

Fresh Paint-I can’t say enough about white (or off-white) paint. Use it without restraint. A fresh coat will give a space an immediate clean up. Freshly painted window casements and baseboards will make a place look brand new.

New bedding-Again this can be done on a budget. A brand new color scheme for your bedroom can really make it feel all your own. Make it as feminine as you please. Floral on floral print with pink accents? Bring it on.

Kitchen stuff-replace broken kitchen appliances but only the ones you will actually use. We don’t need to hang on to broken appliances because the chances of us fixing them is almost zero. You can donate these items to schools where they use them for projects. Remember, it’s not the actual kitchen design or lay out but the comfort food that is made there, that makes a house a home.

Safety-ensure all smoke alarms, carbon monoxide detectors and door locks are in working order.

Update Home Insurance Policy-you likely had an insurance carrier for your marital home. You can contact them for a new policy to meet the needs of your new home whether you’re renting or own your new abode.

There you have it, ten things you can do to make your new home cozy, functional and safe. Above all else, make it a reflection of you and your children’s lifestyle and personalities. Throw out the rules. This isn’t about status. This is about real life.

This is about Home. Your home.

Like this? You’ll love the books;

The Great Escape; A Girl’s Guide to Leaving a Marriage and A Divorce Companion both available on Amazon.

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20 Replies to “Making a New Home for You & Your Children After Divorce”

  1. Great list Lisa! The place I moved with my son right after we dumped the Sperm Donor — it was so cute, and the SD tried to move back in with us! That didn’t happen, but I did always try to make wherever we lived a comfortable cosy home. i think my color was yellow — the color of optimism!

    1. Kim, that’s such a beautiful thing to say. As a blogger, some days I wonder—am I actually helping? Is it worth it? (I’m sure you can relate) Then someone emails me thanking me for helping them and so I tell myself “Okay, it’s worth it…keep going :)” Thank you, Kim love you! xo

  2. What an awesome topic. I’ve told you a million times about my daughter’s best friend’s family and their divorce. The two moms are both close to me, since I’m Switzerland in that case! (for the kids!) And they both work hard at the home thing. Artwork on the walls. Bedrooms. Limitations. Etc. It’s important!
    Tamara recently posted…Weekend Update and “Tie” Dye Easter EggsMy Profile

    1. These things really do matter and can improve the overall atmosphere for everyone in the home. You’re Switzerland…LOL that says a lot about the kind of friend you are, Tamara.

  3. This is again a great post – help on the way for all women going through divorce and finding it hard to start all over again.
    Home is the place where you shall feel safe and at peace. So yes make it YOURS so you will be able to recharge and get enough energy to face whatever comes your way.

    Have a lovely day Lisa!
    marie kléber recently posted…Spring time!My Profile

  4. I really like the suggestion of a new colour scheme and new bedding when moving out and coping with divorce. Sometimes when you are in a relationship, one half of the relationship might make the choices at home like what colour to have, food for dinner each night, what to watch on TV, and so on…. Changing colour schemes and decor may not be that difficult of task, but it can also be a way of taking back control of you life and feeling more confident once again 🙂
    Mabel Kwong recently posted…How Do Some Asians Say ‘I Love You’ To Each Other?My Profile

    1. Hi Mabel, it really is simple things that can make a big difference in our lives. So true about taking back control—re-decorating is one way to begin that process. Thanks for sharing here 🙂

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