Hot Flashes of Confidence

Can we talk about the hot flashes, ladies? I should invite the men to weigh in as well. I believe men experience them too but maybe not as intensely.  When these first began, I didn’t even realize it was really a hot flash, per se. Every night around 10 pm I would warm right up and have to take off my sweater or a layer.  I just thought the room had warmed up for some odd reason.

Denial isn’t just a river, you know.

Eventually, when the sweaty brow, pits, breasts and neck all began to go along with these random tropical vacations, I had to finally face the truth. I was entering into menopause—like it or not.

Hot Flash Confidence
image by J. Wagner source

Hot Flashes of Confidence or Rage?

I try to look at it as hot flashes of confidence although I have to admit it can also be hot flashes of rage. It really depends on what I’m trying to do the moment the hot flash sneaks up on me. For example, when I’m on the hunt for something but can’t find it for the life of me (say a AA battery for my mouse)—or I’m trying to thread a needle, or I’m stirring something over a hot stove, and a hot flash strikes—I feel rage momentarily and lose my concentration.  BUT if I have a hot flash start up while I’m on the couch watching Gilmore Girls, I just nonchalantly remove a layer, lift my hair off the back of my neck and carry on.

“Hot flash and carry on” Hey, that’s a good slogan.

OR “Hot flash and rage on” That’s good too.

Guys, look out!

All I can say is Guys, look out if the lady you’re divorcing is going through menopausal symptoms. It’s your head. Better watch what kind of shit you try at, cuz she in’t puttin’ up wit it. I just went all southern slang there.

I have resorted to tying a favorite cotton kerchief to my purse. That way it’s at hand for a hot flash when I’m out in public…I can quickly use it to discreetly dab at the beads of sweat that have magically formed on my forehead, upper lip and cheeks. Yes, ladies, we’re positively raging glowing! My daughter refers to this as my “meno buddy”.

My Hot Flash Theory

I was recently out with my girlfriends where I shared my theory about the purpose of menopause. It’s a perplexing phase a woman goes through and hardly seems fair considering everything her body has done up to this point. That’s why I wracked my tiny brain to try to reason with nature to explain this bizarre ‘change of life’.

That’s when it hit me. This must have begun in the caveman days. Likely the unions of the day were purely to reproduce and make cave drawings, and fires. Yes? So, it stands to reason that as the woman ages, the caveman continues breeding but must do this with the younger woman. He’s a caveman and therefore of small brain, large balls and a non-stop drive to breed…likely he has a harem.

My theory is that the caveman exiles the older woman as she passes child bearing years. He has little use for her now (and she perhaps has even less use for him) and casts her out for the younger cavewoman.

Nature kindly bestowed the symptom of hot flashes as an adaptive measure to allow women to survive (happily) on their own outside the cave.  Eventually they found their own caves and became the “hot” queens of their castles without any need for the caveman. In fact, we could go further and say the menopausal cave woman, found younger men to help her around the cave and keep her fires burning. She’s burning plenty.

Confidence and rage can be summoned in equal measure by the menopausal woman…so let’s use these little flashes of heat to our advantage, just like the cave woman probably did.

So how ’bout you? Have you experienced the heat? Or are you one of the lucky ones who doesn’t get hot flashes (I hate you).

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29 Replies to “Hot Flashes of Confidence”

  1. Something to look forward to as my menopause days are still a little way off. I will say though I experienced some hot flashes both during my pregnancy with my son and especially the couple of months after birth, I’m pretty sure it’s similar hormones playing around at that time and it’s crazy!
    Beth recently posted…I Know This Much Is TrueMy Profile

    1. Hey Beth, that’s interesting about having some hot flashes during pregnancy. It makes sense though because those hormones are going wild. 😀

    1. Hi Lauren, so you’ve just been the innocent by-stander so far… 🙂 Yes, I definitely want to see that musical. Sounds like a good night out with the girlfriends!

  2. I’m not quite there yet, but haven’t heard my older sisters complain much. My best friend has had a horrible time with menopause, so I hope I don’t end up on her side of the fence. She gets quite enraged about those hot flashes at times 😉

    1. Hot flash rage. It’s a thing. Of course, there are some remedies she could try. I used a herbal remedy that worked for months but eventually the body knows it’s being tricked. I hope you don’t experience them, Jeri but I don’t know any woman who has gone through this unscathed.

  3. I like the way you have put it across…I am sure cavemen didn’t have any idea about what was happening to their women 🙂
    You would get used to them Lisa, they are just hormonal changes and take a long time to settle. Take them easy… meno-buddy might be a little pesty but a nice pal!
    Balroop Singh recently posted…Why Are Some Human Beings So Vindictive?My Profile

    1. I’m looking on the funny side because what else can we do? I hope they settle soon although I’ve heard some women still get hot flashes into their 70’s. Hope that’s not me. Thanks, Balroop for your encouragement 😀

  4. Lollllllllll, great post. You know I wrote a book about this wonderful time – Menowhat? A Memoir, lol. I really wanted to just title it Menowhat??????????????????????????????? with a thousand question marks, lol. Girl I could tell you stories. The flashes are only the beginning. Enjoy the ride. I wrote about all those lovely things that accompany the flashes. It aint always pretty, LOL. I’m actually thinking of writing a humorous sequel to that book, because those aren’t fun times, you then can enjoy “The Change After the Change”, yup there’s more and you just gotta laugh. 🙂 <3
    dgkaye recently posted…I was nominated for The Awesome Blogger Award – #bloggingfun ! – Bonnie A. McKeegan Psychotherapist & Author of my own storyMy Profile

    1. Debby, yes I saw that book listed on your website and I will be reading that!! I want to hear the stories…and well, not sure I’ll enjoy the ride but what choice do I have…??? It is NOT pretty Hahaha!!

  5. You totally nailed it! I’ve been living with hot flashes for eight years now, and I never go out in public without my electric, mini fan stashed in my purse for hot flash emergencies. I really enjoyed this post, Lisa. I’d love to have you as a guest on my site sometime and you can share this post for my readers—they’d get a real kick out of it! If you are interested, feel free to email me at:

  6. Now THAT’S a theory I can buy into! LOL 🙂

    Girl, I get it. Oh, do I get it! It comes without warning and as sure as fire it envelopes me and rushes through my veins and I am IN IT.

    Since my hysterectomy, I have had menopause bestowed on me along with hot flashes at the ripe age of 41. Yippee! But I will say, not having any erratic periods is a huge plus. So there’s that.
    Christine Carter recently posted…Four Things We Can Do To Clean Up Our Hearts In 2018My Profile

    1. Yes. We’re IN it. That’s a good way to describe it. I’ve heard that before, Chris. I have a friend who also experienced meno symptoms early due to hysterectomy. She used to brag about not needing anymore period stuff…now that I can get behind. Looking on the bright side.

  7. Here’s a really stupid story for you.

    My entire life, I’ve worn socks to sleep. I even tucked my pajama leg pants into my socks (ahem, #sexy) so that I could get ample warm legs happening.

    But lately, I can’t sleep with the socks on. Also? I’m not cold 24/7. I’ve heard menopause can hit a bit earlier and so, I’m actually wondering if I, too, am experiencing hot flashes, or something else? who knows.

    Also? I totes love your theory. Especially the one about the self-sufficient cave woman who don’t need no man (but doesn’t mind shacking up with a hot caveman). 😉
    Charlotte recently posted…Valentine’s day gift ideas from My Gift Stop and $500 gift card giveaway!My Profile

    1. Cold feet make it impossible to fall asleep. So, now that you have warm feet—that’s a good thing. Not sure it’s related in any way to meno symptoms. I think we can start them earlier and not even realize it. I know someone who started in her late 30’s having hot flashes and other symptoms. Peri-menopausal. So long as it isn’t bothering you…then no need to worry.

      Haha, glad you like my theory. She needs the younger caveman to ‘help around the cave’ 😛

  8. OMG LOVE THE THEORY!!!!! SURVIVING ON OUR OWN due to evolution and our ancestors realizing the cavemen would be useless to our heating needs!!!! 😀 😀 :D:D:D:D:D
    Jane Thrive recently posted…My momMy Profile

    1. Haha—so glad you enjoyed my theory, Jane! A friend of mine theorized that the hot flashes were designed to keep grand babies warm. So cute!

  9. I liked the caveman era and that stuff! LOL I will share a story…

    MANY years ago when I first got together with the gal who would become my fiance’ (we never did marry), I got a crash course on PMS. Yes, I know this post is about menopause but it’s still relevant to what you wrote.

    Not only did she suffer from PMS but she would go full on Linda Blair for a solid week!! This was back when Markie Post brought PMS and also tryptophan (which took a huge edge off of the symptoms) to the national attention.

    Anyhoo, my fiancé and I had a great agreement. She would give me a head’s up first, then I would go to the store and get the tryptophan and other food items (ie. chocolate, etc). Then I would STAY AWAY for the entire week. She had two boys that I essentially raised and were out of the house as much as possible one week out of each month!! LOL

    So, hot flashes and rage…yep…I get it!!

    GREAT post for guys to read Lisa!! Hugs!! 🙂 🙂

    1. Oh, Mike this story made me laugh!! I was not a PMS sufferer. So, I guess I was lucky. Mood changes? A little but not even close to Linda Blair.

      I like that you guys had it all figured out. I think it’s very sweet that you would go to the store and get all of her supplies. Of course, you were saving your own ass, right? Hahahaa!

      So nice to see your face here, Mike! Missed ya.
      lisa recently posted…What’s Up Weekend?My Profile

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