Ryan Reynolds would make a dreamy handyman
Warning: this post is full of double meanings and suggestive scenes. Ladies, have you found your HANDYMAN yet? Every ‘single’ woman needs a HandyMan on her speed dial. Preferably, he’ll know how to use a variety of tools to fix your broken toilet OR your broken heart…”hey Baby, I’m your handy man…” As James Taylor crooned back in the day.
Yes, handy man is a euphemism for transitional or what I like to call a re-sexing partner after divorce. If he actually wears a tool belt that’s a bonus.
Click to hear the song…
The first few months of my separation I was a sole homeowner and a little overwhelmed with the things that needed fixing. I found a handy man ad in the newspaper. It was 2005, back when we would actually read a newspaper. It was also a hot, lonely summer and I needed some jobs done. I needed a fence put up to ‘pen in’ my crazy dog. She was the type that liked to pull Houdini at the most inconvenient times.
So my Handy man showed up on my doorstep one hot, July afternoon. The job would involve cement mixing, chain link fence erecting, popsicles and eventually a little romance. Don’t judge me. He was thirty-something and worked without a shirt and wearing nothing but faded Levi’s (what is it about faded Levi’s?) and work boots. Well, one job led to another.
image source; PInterest
You could say he broke me in. Me, being a woman who married young and to a man who preferred to view me as chaste and not slutty. Really every woman should be able to be slutty with their husband, do you agree?
Then, months later there was the tree pruner. He was tall, rugged, 50-odd years and strong. I watched him from the window. Fastened to the tree he climbed high carrying the chain saw. It took hours for him to complete the job. When he was done I wrote him a cheque and told him how healthy the tree looked. His eyes scrunched up warmly when he smiled. He had an obvious passion for trees. I wanted to know if he had other passions he might care to indulge.
image source Pinterest
Somehow he got talking about his kids (he was divorced too). One thing led to another. After, he didn’t make empty promises but said next time he was pruning in the neighborhood he would call. He did too.
It’s better than Tinder. Take a look around, what do you need help with? Call a handyman today…and see what happens tomorrow.
I didn’t mention the electric and gas man who came when my fireplace wasn’t working. Wouldn’t you know it was December and -30 below. Silver linings. There were others too but I didn’t allow all of them to be my handyman. For example, the dad from school who was married. Really? Do you always s**t where you eat? Oh, and the one who installed the hot tub. I asked him to try it out…
image source Pinterest
That didn’t actually happen but I found this pic and had to include it. The point is, the transitional or re-sexing man is strictly a physical thing that will get you back in the groove.
“Come-a, come-a, come-a come, come. I’m your handyman, ya….ya. hey Baby I’m your handy man…”
Thank you James and John and especially you Steven, my own personal handy man during that long, hot and lonely summer. I wish I could tell you all images were property the of lisathomsonlive.com but that would be a lie. Don’t you just love Pinterest?
Did you find your handyman? Leave a comment, I LOVE ’em!
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Susan Doris Moreland
July 16, 2019 at 10:02 amI got but on to a handyman, called Mr M Adams, I known him since beginning of april 2019, he had to remove my washing machine to the furiture shop around the corner from me, I own a house in derby, which has been empty since 22nd feb 2019. He did different jobs for me because my tenant wrecked my house, he put up a electric glass light fitting in my bathroom, which you need it for health and safety.
He cleaned moss from my roof at the back of my derby house. My handyman fitted in my new wooden doors in the derby house, handyman repaired my small roof at the back of my derby house, than he painted the walls in the outside toilet, he but a new shower curtain up and put a new bath panel on to the bath. He cut 3 branches of the tree in my neighbours back garden which overhang over my garden, I get messages from him with xxx on them, I feel he is working on me, to kiss him. He is a goodlooking man, every message he send me has a kiss, he speaks nicely. He been married 3 times and he has children, we both in our 50,s. I told him to meet me at my house on friday because I have something special to give him for all the hard work he has done, I paid him for all his jobs, so I do not owe him anymore money.
lisa
July 16, 2019 at 7:26 pmSounds like a date, Susan. Enjoy. Responsibly of course 🙂
Gina Stoneheart
October 27, 2014 at 11:00 amWow, Lisa! Good for you to get some healing done by using the handymen! LOL, I don’t know if I could ever do that which is why I signed up for match.com after my six year relationship ended from a college sweetheart.
And I definitely believe husbands and wives should have some kinky sex at times. It makes the sex way more interesting! Who wants to be a bore in bed all of time!
lisa
October 27, 2014 at 12:15 pmHi Gina, well, I’ve heard good things about match.com. Thanks for backing me up on that marital sex point. Nice to have your input here!
Dr. Diana
October 26, 2014 at 6:33 amI have no comments for this. But I like first two pictures. The last picture in the bath tub is not good.
Thanks
Dr. Diana
lisa
October 26, 2014 at 10:16 amHi Diana. The last picture is naughty. Thanks for stopping over. 😉
Kathy @ SMART Living 365.com
October 24, 2014 at 1:40 pmWow! I’ve known some handy-men in my life but none of them looked anywhere close to YOURS. Fortunately I happen to think my own husband is both handy and sexy looking so I haven’t had to call anyone in for quite some time. Thanks for the thoughts though! 🙂
lisa
October 24, 2014 at 3:00 pmHot stuff! You have the best of both, Kathy 🙂
My Inner Chick
October 23, 2014 at 12:50 pm–Um,
excuse me while I go take a cold shower.
I just adore a man w/ tattoos! OOOOOOOO.
xxxx
lisa
October 23, 2014 at 3:25 pm🙂 Ha, absolutely. Glad you enjoyed this bit of hotness, Kim xo
Charlotte
October 23, 2014 at 6:32 amUhm, hi. Your photos made me a little hot and bothered. MEOW! Is that Zac Efron in the hot tub? Omg, he’s so yummy. But that six-pack is unreal. Daydreaming…
I have thankfully been blessed to have some platonic (and non platonic) handymen in my life. I don’t know how I would have fixed toilets or hung up shelves without them (and let’s be real, sometimes it was just nice to have something pleasant to look at while the job is getting done).
Thank you for this 🙂 What a wonderful way to start the morning.
lisa
October 23, 2014 at 8:18 amNow that you mention it, that does look like Zac Ephron! Photos were poached off Pinterest. A handyman is essential in a woman’s life, yes? I’m very fortunate to be with a super handyman. He can fix just about anything. Glad you enjoyed the post, Charlotte!
tracie @ beets+birch
October 22, 2014 at 11:54 pmexcellent post! i adore james taylor he knows stuff.
in my single girl time i didn’t have an actual literal ‘handyman’ but i did have a handyman that got the job done! i highly recommend it!
lisa
October 23, 2014 at 8:15 amOOOoooh, Tracie that sounds perfect. Turns out there’s been a lot of this going around (as single girls)! Yes, James Taylor is timeless. Thanks for stopping over.
Tamara
October 22, 2014 at 1:20 pmWhoa, the photos! I have to look away! Not really.
No divorce here.. or on the horizon.. but it’s a unique and sexy perspective to think about.
lisa
October 22, 2014 at 2:28 pmThat’s good, Tamara! You can still enjoy the eye candy! A single girl’s gotta do…the handyman 🙂
Bren Lee
October 22, 2014 at 9:14 amOh my gawd Lisa, you’re killing me with eye candy! When I was in my single years, I too had “handy men”. One was an electrician, a phone man, a cable guy and an actual booty call only man. LOL The good ole days for me and boy do I cherish those days!
Thanks for the awesomely, dreamy, and wet flashback girly!
lisa
October 22, 2014 at 9:50 amThat’s awesome, Bren! You had quite a list on your speed dial, girl. I bet those are some hawt memories 😉
Bren Lee
October 22, 2014 at 10:12 amIndeed they definitely are…. HAWT! Meoooooow!! 🙂
lisa
October 22, 2014 at 10:53 am🙂
Balroop Singh
October 21, 2014 at 4:31 pmYour reflections about your ‘handyman’ have brought a big smile to my face, Lisa! This is the perspective of a teenager! And I am so glad to note that you are still so young as you were at the time of choosing another “Handyman’!! Your sense of humour really is superb!
Thanks for sharing such an honest view and candid thoughts. I enjoyed reading them. Stay blessed.
lisa
October 21, 2014 at 4:49 pmThank you Balroop. So glad you enjoyed this bit of fun. I thought it was time for a ‘hot’ post 😉
Stephanie Faris
October 21, 2014 at 4:30 pmMm-hmm. I had something like that when I was first divorced but he didn’t look like that guy in the last picture, that’s for sure!
lisa
October 21, 2014 at 4:50 pmHaha, I wish I could say that was him in the picture 🙂 Truth is he was pretty HAWT!! Thanks, Stephanie. I would love to hear your story.
Chrys Fey
October 21, 2014 at 10:05 amAs you know, I haven’t gone through divorce, but I sure would LOVE to find my handyman. 😉
lisa
October 21, 2014 at 12:56 pmAbsolutely, Chrys! No need to suffer through divorce to enjoy your Handyman 🙂