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Blog-The Great EscapeDivorce Support blog including tips and stories
Finding Your Inner Sex Goddess
Hello, where have you been? That’s what you’ll be asking when you find her. I can’t think of a better time then post divorce, to get in touch with your inner sex goddess. She’s dying to get out! Finding her will be exciting, fun and rewarding. Embracing your sexuality means owning it. Dressing in clothes that feel and fit perfect. Not revealing clothes but nicely fitted, beautiful fabrics. Silk, pure cotton, cashmere and linen can feel heavenly next to the skin. Sensual means senses. Feel, touch, sound, sight; they all play a role in finding our inner sex goddess. Inner, meaning from within as opposed to the obvious. Sure, great sex plays a big part in this awakening but most importantly, it’s how you feel about yourself that counts. WHERE DO WE BEGIN?
1 positive self talk- when you look in the mirror compliment yourself
2 Wardrobe- how do your clothes feel and look on you? Go through your wardrobe and try on everything anything that doesn’t fit or you don’t feel confident in get rid of! This includes updating the lingerie collection.
3 Bedding and Bath- what state are your bedding and bath towels in? They should enshroud you in softness, comfort and give you a sense of decadence. If they don’t get rid of them and invest in some quality bedding you can slide into (naked of course) and feel beauty against your skin
4 Music- Do you play your favorites? Or do you just listen to the radio because it’s easier? -pick out some sultry tunes, make your personal playlist. Is it Jazz, classical, pop, rock? Is there an era of music you find sexy?
5 Shoes- What’s the situation with your shoes? Do you live in sneaks? I love sneakers but a girl needs a high heel especially to boost her body self confidence. Invest in a great pair of go to heels that will look great with skinny jeans or a skirt
6 Hair maintenance- a regular cut and highlights can do wonders for your self confidence. I have been guilty of neglecting this and I have vowed not to let it go again!
7. Nails - tidy? Pretty? Get them softened and treated once every few months and you will feel beautiful
8 spa treatments; again, I am guilty here and since ruminating on this post and reading all about the beauty of French women (which I aspire to be, ahem) they take their spa treatments SERIOUSLY. They wouldn’t miss an appointment and there is no guilt or assumption of selfish behavior about it. One of my favorite blogs is Vicki Archer’s FRENCH ESSENCE. She shares all the French Woman secrets.
9 Zumba- or any exercise but Zumba gets you moving in ways you didn’t realize you could!
You’ll notice I haven’t mentioned makeup. I don’t believe makeup gives us the same sense of goddess as our clothing or touch, scent or sound. Some would argue a good red lipstick will add glamour to a plain jane. I guess there’s some truth to that but overall, and maybe this is a personal opinion, makeup can’t come close to doing for the senses what cashmere, silk or a beautiful scent can do. In fact, I started going without a drop of makeup as an experiment. It started with laziness. Some days I would forget to put on makeup. Then I discovered I loved getting ready for bed and not having to think about taking makeup off. It was a relief. I have never been a big make up wearer and even if I spent 10 minutes putting it on I would have people say “You don’t wear any make up do you?” . I would think Huh, why did I spend 10 minutes on my face? So just to see how I would feel without it I decided to continue with my bare face. At first, I felt strange going out to do errands and even meeting clients without a drop of makeup. I wondered if they would find me less attractive. But no one seemed to notice.
I felt different. I felt naked in a sense. The flaws including the dark circles under my eyes are all out there for the world to see. But I remind myself, men have all of those things and we don’t judge them for walking around without covering up their flaws. After 1 week I’m used to the face looking back at me and bonus; I’m taking better care of my skin. Instead of spending money on eye shadow and concealer I can invest in quality skin care products. Cleaning my tiny bathroom, I put all the makeup paraphernalia under the sink, out of sight. I’m loving the decluttered result. So the consensus? Less $ spent and less clutter, and a purer self image. I still use hair products, nail polish and perfume so I wouldn’t give all my girly rituals up . The point is developing my confidence as a naked face, just me without the trappings was a surprising experiment. Now, looking at fashion magazines advice on makeup seems ridiculous. Who actually would wear those colors? And who wants raccoon eyes? They might look attractive on 18 yr old models but not in my world! I must confess though, I do miss my mascara and I may go back to it eventually. I would recommend this experiment for any goddess. You will likely learn something about your inner confidence by going without your usual cover up.
Goddesses to inspire us;
MADONNA (think 1984 “Like a Virgin”)
MARILYN MONROE (pictured above) She still exudes a certain mystery to young women today decades after her death
PENELOPE CRUZ (think her fiery performance in Vicky Christina Barcelona- a movie made for men but if you must suffer through it you can at least admire the beauty and elegance of the clothing worn by both Penelope and Scarlett)
Finding your inner sex goddess starting with a wardrobe edit, great shoes, music, hair and a little exercise. Take the no makeup challenge and find your inner beauty. Use your senses to feel more sensual and have fun!
Who inspires you? Will you change anything in your routine? What will you add to your home or wardrobe to feel more sexy and sensual?