How Many Suitcases Are You Carrying?

How many suitcases are you carrying?
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We’re all carrying at least one suitcase with us, day in, day out. It’s our baggage. It’s full of our own personal issues; lies, denial, delusions, past wrongs, blame, hope for the future. Continue reading “How Many Suitcases Are You Carrying?”

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Making a New Home for You & Your Children After Divorce

Making a new home for you and your children after divorce
image source Dreamstime

One of the biggest changes during divorce is losing the marital home, which I have written about before here.

It’s a loss that isn’t easy to swallow for many couples who have taken pride in their home. Dare I say, they’ve considered their home something of a status symbol or a page out of a decorating magazine? That will all change. You’ll see though that what really matters isn’t the shell of a home but who and what is inside it. Continue reading “Making a New Home for You & Your Children After Divorce”

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Who’s That Girl?

who's that girl
image source creative commons

Who’s that girl? They whisper as you walk away. “I used to know her when…” Reluctant to look you in the eye, they’ll watch you walk away. Their eyes burn your back. Talking to one another in hushed tones, they lean together conspiratorially. You would smile and say hello if only they would acknowledge you. Even so, you walk away with your head held high. Continue reading “Who’s That Girl?”

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Can We Go Home Again?

Can We Go Home Again?
Memory sketch of the back view of our old home

On facebook the other day, a divorced father and friend of mine (from one of the first divorce support groups I belonged to) posted an interesting set of photos. The status update read “went to see the old house today with the kids. We peeked inside the windows and went in the backyard. I planted that tree and look how big it is now.” He had some of his old photos mixed in with photos he took of the kids beside the tree today. I thought it was really great how he had images of 10 years ago and today, how the kids and trees had grown. Bitter-sweet, I think.

It got me thinking about my recent view of my old marital home, where my babies were born. I didn’t get to walk around and peek in windows. My view was a virtual one. I couldn’t see the back of the house but this sketch is from memory. It’s obvious I’m not an architect 😉 I must practice my sketching skills but I digress. Continue reading “Can We Go Home Again?”

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“Lisa, You’ve Changed…”

lisa, you've changed“Lisa, you’ve changed.” he said. I wanted to answer;

“Yes, you’ve changed me.” Instead, I simply stared and waited for him to finish his point, which he did not.

I won’t say who said it or when. I will say that it’s been said by more than one person. I will also say that it’s true. I have changed. Since when? I’m not sure…but I have changed. Here’s the thing, I’m a human being. I’m not an inanimate object. If I’m not changing then I must be dead.

It’s okay to change isn’t it? Continue reading ““Lisa, You’ve Changed…””

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10 Things I Wish I Knew Before My Divorce

10 things i wish i knew
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Isn’t it true that we have to go through something to really understand it? We can plan and have opinions about something but until it happens to us we don’t grasp the full concept. Divorce is no different. I guess it’s a little like death of a loved one. Again, it’s something we have to go through, get to the other side before we understand it. Continue reading “10 Things I Wish I Knew Before My Divorce”

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Recipe For A New You After Divorce

I’m delighted to introduce to you my guest today, Liv of Live By Surprise. Lively Liv as I like to call her 🙂 If you’ve been anywhere on divorce support blogs and sites you’ll likely see her name. She’s full of energy and writing all over the place because everyone wants to know what she thinks…here she is now! Continue reading “Recipe For A New You After Divorce”

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So This Is How It Ended

this is how it ended
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I haven’t actually written about the end of my divorce. I’ve written about the beginning and the middle in my book and here, on the blog. But I think the story of the end of a divorce can be just as interesting as the story of how it all began.

The end, for me was kind of surreal. The official process began before the fire and concluded three months later.  I tend to mark things that happened that year as before and after the fire. And yes, I refer to the end of my divorce as a process in and of itself because as much as we wish it would end already, the end has a beginning and a middle, too. Another thing about endings? They can be false. Continue reading “So This Is How It Ended”

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Try and Try Again

 

try and try againWow, you guys it’s almost the end of November! WTF and where does the time even go? Life is like an hourglass glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button…Anyway just some random thoughts. I realize that for my American Escapees it is was a big week for y’all. Giving thanks and eating good food, Continue reading “Try and Try Again”

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Career Reboot For SAHMs

career re-boot for SAHM'sBack in 2012 I wrote about the challenges of rebooting your career after staying home to raise children or as a SAHM (Stay at home mom). If you haven’t already read What The F Am I Gonna Do Now? please review it as I share important tips about spousal/alimony support that I’m not covering in this post.

During divorce our career or lack thereof, is obviously a top concern. Your ex, his lawyer and most anyone will be asking the inevitable question; “When are you going to get a job?” I know. Rude, right? I thought so, too. What was I supposed to do run out and get a job at McD’s? My ex probably would have enjoyed that however, before going out and grabbing the Continue reading “Career Reboot For SAHMs”

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