image source; dreamstime
At the risk of sounding smug, I’d like to warn of these common divorce mistakes (a few that I’ve made myself). These are only a sampling of many mistakes we make but I’ve narrowed it down to the top five. So, this is a quick and dirty list of what not to do during your divorce.
Photo by Kyle Broad on Unsplash
It’s no secret that the initial stages of divorce prove to be the most dangerous time in a woman’s life. Yet, we tend to remain positively naive. That makes sense of course, because we’re going through so much for the first time and we are unaware of the hidden or subtle vulnerabilities.
image source; unsplash.com by Josh Applegate
Religion is a powerful force that aims to project a system of beliefs, to instill faith and community. Often, in any religion you will find traditions and events to mark a ‘coming of age’ or a celebration of accomplishment in that faith. Similarly, wedding ceremonies are conducted in our faith of choice and become one of those celebrations.
image by artist Peter Strain
In the film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, the main character decides to have his memories of his ex erased. These included ALL memories, good and bad. Did he once love her? Absolutely. When she broke it off with him though, the pain was too great to bear and he decides to erase her altogether. (That was after he found out she had done it first)
The narc has some of that ability without the freaky procedure we saw administered in the film. Just to be clear, this film is not about narcissism. It’s a quirky, bizarre love story. It’s the spotless mind reference that has a likeness to what little can be understood of the narcissist’s brain function.
image by Erin Smith
Oh my, it’s graduation, wedding, and recital season around the corner. This means ex encounters (of the third kind) of many kinds. Perhaps you’re on good terms with your ex, or maybe many years have passed so you have this down…if so skip down to the comments and tell us how you do it. On the other hand, if you’re not, you’ll need to be ready for this possible barrage of social ex encounters.
image source Dreamstime
One of the biggest changes during divorce is losing the marital home, which I have written about before here.
It’s a loss that isn’t easy to swallow for many couples who have taken pride in their home. Dare I say, they’ve considered their home something of a status symbol or a page out of a decorating magazine? That will all change. You’ll see though that what really matters isn’t the shell of a home but who and what is inside it.
image source from unsplash by Didier Weemaels
Ideally, we would hire the best lawyer in town to handle our divorce proceedings. That’s not reality, however. The fact of the matter is very few of us can afford a top lawyer, and even many more can barely afford a bottom of the heap lawyer (not that we would recognize that until we’re half way through).
The sad truth about our divorce law is, it isn’t keeping up with the digital age and does nothing to rectify an economic divide when it comes to legal services.
“I have been a divorce lawyer for 20 years and the last time Canada’s Divorce Act was changed was in 1986, pre-dating the internet. In other words, Family Law in Canada operates as if the internet didn’t happen.”-Andrew Feldstein
That may be slowly changing though I’ll expand on that in a moment.
The question becomes should we spend our children’s education fund or our very last penny in our savings account on a lawyer? What choice do we have and how can we mitigate our financial losses during divorce.
10 Tips to improve your Christmas post divorce, is something I think will help anyone coping with co-parenting issues over the holidays. One of the most difficult times of the year for divorced and broken families is undoubtedly the Christmas Season. Especially the first couple of years when it is a time for re-building and transitioning the new family unit. What makes this even harder is having to let go of old traditions. Also, Christmas memories from before the divorce are still raw. Due to these changes in family dynamics, the holidays become a challenge and a tug of war between households. Neither Mom nor Dad want to be alone during this time and the children inevitably get caught in the middle.
image source; unsplash
Insomnia is a common problem during divorce. Any time of stress actually, can cause a bad case of insomnia. There’s nothing worse than losing sleep, especially when it’s over things we can’t control. In hopes to alleviate the problem for anyone experiencing insomnia now, I’ve put together five quick tips to help plus a bonus tip. Some are tried and true (no caffeine in the evening) and some are my own remedies (keeping a notebook on my nightstand).
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