In yoga class, often the teacher will ask you to “set your intention” for practice. In my first year of taking yoga class, this request would stump me. What is my intention for today’s class? Hmmm. Continue reading “Choose Your Word For the Day”
We’re all carrying at least one suitcase with us, day in, day out. It’s our baggage. It’s full of our own personal issues; lies, denial, delusions, past wrongs, blame, hope for the future. Continue reading “How Many Suitcases Are You Carrying?”
Art journaling is a ‘thing’. Have you tried it yet? I first heard about it a few years ago and was intrigued. There are many ways to do it but pretty much only one reason; therapy. Specifically to mentally unwind, go wild, let go and unlock your creative juices and your emotions. Continue reading “Art Journaling Therapy”
Reading is one of my favorite hobbies as you likely have guessed. It follows suit to recommend novels with divorced heroes/heroines. We can always gain comfort from someone else’s divorce story fictional or fact. Similar to my television series and divorce movie countdown, here are the 14 books… Continue reading “14 Best Novels With Divorced Heroines”
Every Saturday I attend yoga class but it’s not just any old yoga class. It’s Goddess class. Our teacher calls on one of the ancient Goddesses during class and has us all join her, while holding our Goddess pose. We may call on Kali to conquer our fears or Aditi to overcome obstacles we are facing. Goddess To The Rescue!
Just look at the power in the Goddess (Fierce) pose (pictured above). The legs, abdominal and arms all firing and increasing blood flow, generating heat and with that our own physical power.
This class is affectionately referred to as ‘Goddess class’ although it’s not named that on the schedule. Our teacher has Continue reading “Goddess To The Rescue”
One of my favorite summer posts I’ve updated from the archives. Summer inspiration.
“Summertime, and the livin’ is easy…your daddy’s rich and your mamma’s good lookin’..”
That old Gershwin jazz tune always plays through my mind in June.
Summer is upon us and we’ve waited patiently for it to come! We even travel great distances at great expense during the winter months to get a taste of this season in some other exotic locale. But now we have it, right outside our own Continue reading “The Livin’ Is Easy”
If you’ve been around here for a while you know how much I love music. I’ve written about it and its healing powers often. During my divorce, music was a big part of my life. I used it to relax, (Sarah MacLauchlan), to party (Dave Matthews Band), to paint (Chopin) and to reminisce (anything from the 80’s). So, music is a big deal to me—always has been, always will be. Continue reading “Music Heals”
Yes. Definitely. Writing is a therapeutic tool to take us from the darkness of our tunnels to the light on the other side. Today I’m delighted to be a guest over at Live By Surprise. I’m talking about how writing brought light to my dark, divorce days.
How the heck did I come up with the idea of writing a self help book for economically Continue reading “Can Writing Lift Us Out Of Darkness?”
Dear Escapees, please give my guest blogger a warm welcome…Vishnu has been through a difficult divorce and writes about his experiences in such a way that no one would give up hope in finding love again and happiness in general. I’m delighted to introduce to you, Vishnu of Vishnu’s Virtues…
The Upside of Divorce: 50 Ways Life is Sweeter After One-by Vishnu
“Marriage is like the larvae state to true happiness.” Louis CK
I talk a lot about the heartbreak and hardships that divorce brings into our lives, but could it be that there just might be an upside to divorce?
An upside to divorce? Really? Who would ever say there’s a positive side to divorce?
Well, every divorced person whom you could ever possibly talk to!
That’s why the Louis C.K piece above is such a crack-up. Yes, in fact, there are some positive things to life after divorce. I want to thank the reader who sent this to me and invite you to consider some of the upsides of life’s downside.
Take the following 50 ways with a tinge of humor – some of these may be true for you and some may just make you laugh.
- You can live through anything – once you survive divorce, you’ll be ready for triple bypass surgery or being sent off into battlefields in the Middle East.
- You get to watch what you want on television every single day. You can watch three shows at once and flip through the channels endlessly.
- You don’t have to ask permission to do anything.
- You take your next trip by simply booking your ticket – no discussions needed.
- You’ll start getting healthier and taking better care of yourself. When married, your personal care and looks don’t matter so much. When you’re single again, you start to care about your physical appearance.
- You can eat want you want – there’s no one to count calories for you or remind you of what the doctor said.
- You’ll have peace of mind.
- You’ll experience joy over simple daily pleasures.
- You’ll experience happiness for all the positive things in your life.
- The kids, if you have them, and as Louis CK points out in the video, stay with you only half the time. You become a better parent because you have to be a great parent only half the time!
- You become friends with your ex and actually start liking each other.
- No one is around to criticize you, make fun of you or tell you how inadequate you are.
- All the money you earn is your own.
- You can live in a smaller house and keep it clean!
- You can practice minimalism and live a simpler life. Less stuff, less clothes, less clutter!
- There’s no one holding you back from following your dreams.
- You can decorate the house as you’d like.
- You can decorate the room as you’d like.
- There’s no waiting for the bathroom!
- You don’t have to put up with your ex’s bad habits.
- You don’t have to repeatedly remind someone else to do something – unless you have kids, of course!
- You don’t have to spend time with your ex’s family; hey, this might actually start looking pretty good to you if you’re married today!
- No more mothers-in-law!
- You can start over and you have a second shot to create the kind of life you want.
- You can go back to school if you feel like it or start an entirely new career.
- You can dress as you’d like – you don’t have to listen to anyone else’s input on the clothes you wear.
- There’s no need to pick up shoes and clothes lying all over your room and house.
- There’s no one turning your house into a mess and no need to spend all day cleaning it up.
- You can be friends and hang out with the people you enjoy spending time with.
- You can buy as many shoes as you’d like. Buy as many jackets as you’d like. As many purses as you’d like…
- No one’s rushing you when you go shopping (except the kids, of course…).
- Cooking for one is much easier than cooking for two – take-out anybody?
- Instead of having your ex fix things around the house, you can hire a professional who does the job correctly and for surprisingly less than you expected.
- You won’t spend time figuring out how to change your ex!
- You’ll have freedom.
- You’ll have Independence.
- You can have late nights out on weekdays. Happy hours – every day!
- You have fewer obligations to attend boring family events you had no interest in going to anyway.
- Insight and reflections are opportunities for self-improvement – no one would have taught you more about yourself than your ex.
- You experience the excitement of dating and meeting new people. You have the added benefit of knowing who is good for you and who you should stay away from.
- If your divorce is done, you’re done with divorce lawyers and divorce court. Hallelujah!
- No more couples counseling – which only made you more agitated after the session than you were before it.
- Not speaking to your ex again is a gift that keeps on giving.
- No more disagreements about politics, religion, social issues or world issues.
- No oneis holding you back or keeping you away from the life you desire.
- Your kis grow up in happy households without bitter fights between you and your ex.
- No moe fighting, screaming or emotional breakdowns because of your ex.
- You n longer have to spend hours talking to your friends about all the problems in your marriage.
- You don’t have to be someone else – you can fully embrace who you are and show up in the world as your authentic self.
- After divorce, you’ll practice more humility, compassion and kindness to others who have gone through serious life shake-ups or divorces themselves. Nothing makes you more empathetic and compassionate than surviving a divorce.
If you’re still married and want to remain so, make it work! Do the work.
If you’re running out of options and divorce seems inevitable, know that it’s not the end of the world.
There are a few silver linings and many benefits of life after divorce
If you’re going to go for it you might as well do it in style. Yup, divorce style. I’m not talking about clothing either. This isn’t a fashion blog. Sometimes I wish it was. Then I could talk about shoes, hand bags, make up, cashmere vs. silk (which I have the odd time). Instead, I talk about lawyers, divorce law, parental alienation, bullies, Continue reading “Divorce With Style”